1. Alcohol, It’s party season, you are at every event. Everyone is drinking you and I don’t want to be the odd one out. I want to have fun with my friends and you have always made this happen!
An ongoing internal battle, when did it become a thing that I needed alcohol to socialise with my friends. The past month I have been experimenting with no alcohol at social events. My friends are drinking but I simply choose not to. I remember now why I call them my friends because these are the people I have chosen to be close to in my life and they make me feel good. I take my non alcoholic wine to these parties and no one even questions me. I have also discovered I’m still fun when I am not drunk and my decision to not drink doesn’t make anyone feel uncomfortable. Yes there are times when It has been hard or tempting to drink but that feeling always passes. Now I spend my weekends catching up with more friends and not laying in bed hungover and depressed on Sunday!
2. Alcohol, work is stressful and my life is turning to chaos. I need you to let me escape for a moment and help me relax.
The past three weeks have been stressful and I have been tempted to have a wine to stop my thoughts for a moment. Though I know as soon as I would of taken that first sip, I’d be chasing the alcohol high until the bottle was gone. I had to remember when I used alcohol to numb the pain I would constantly wake up the next morning feeling anxious, groggy and tired. Now I wake up alert and motivated for the day. I realise now it’s not normal to wake up feeling shit, it’s not normal to still be half asleep whilst driving to work. Lately work has been hard and some bad shit has happened in my personal life but because I haven’t touched alcohol I have been able to stay rational, strong and determined to be happy.
3. Alcohol, you help me at work events to be confident and charismatic. You give the courage and motivation to be out with clients. You make work fun and exciting!
When I think about client entertaining and connecting with work colleagues, this is what really tempts me to drink. Reflecting on nights I have had with clients and colleagues over bottles of wine and music makes me want to go back to my drinking habits. Though when I dissect this, was it as good as I remembered? I also remember not turning up to work and if I did turn up I was dishevelled and unproductive. The other memories I have are making bad decisions and saying things I regret. The taxis home at five am in the morning being filled with anxiety knowing I had to work in a couple of hours. I use to think I wouldn’t be able to connect with clients and colleagues without alcohol but since being alcohol free this is not the case. When I am not drunk I am actually a better listener, my conversations are more engaging and I am present in the moment. Now when walking into the office I still have my dignity.